Gene Simmons, Lady GaGa and Mark Twain

5/30/10

I have a confession to make. I am a "Gleek." For those of you who are going "Huh??" a gleek is someone who is a devoted fan of a TV show called "Glee." I was introduced to the show by my "Saturday son", a contemporary of my youngest daughters who has been spending most of his Saturdays with us for years.

The show is based in a high school in Lima, Oh. Since I grew up in Lima's neighboring town Dayton this appeals to me. Dayton gets a nod now and then, and it is fun to see if they are getting all the Ohio stuff right, like pronouncing Lima as Lie-ma (correct Ohio-nese) rather than Lee-ma as in Peru. It's about the kids in a glee club and each show is a mini-musical ( I admit I love musicals) with a lot of plot lines running simultaneously, some major, some not so. All I can say is high school in Ohio sure was different in my day. Last week's show had two subplots that collided at the end for a moment I loved.

First subplot: The boys feel the glee club caters to the girl's musical choices and want to pick their own musical number. This develops into a boy's number vs. girl's number competition. The girls end up doing a Lady GaGa song complete with Lady Gaga couture. The boys do their take on the band "Kiss" in full makeup and Kiss drag.

Second subplot: Two of the male characters ( Finn and Kurt) have a painful  confrontation involving Finn's (football team quarterback as well as Glee club member) discomfort with Kurt's openly gay (Kurt does GaGa with the girls) life. Finn says some very hurtful things to Kurt, and later wants to apologize, but he realizes words are not going to take him far enough this time.

The moment I loved: A couple of football team members don't appreciate Kurt and throughout the episode keep  threatening him with bodily harm if he continues coming in to school wearing his flamboyant GaGa gear. Finally they get him cornered in the boy's bathroom and are ready to lay on some serious hurt when you hear Finn's voice telling them to leave Kurt alone. The camera pans around to Finn dressed in the way the real Lady GaGa did when she met the Queen of England  with red glitter eye makeup and a floor length red vinyl gown. Finn and Kurt exchange a look, and you know amends have been offered and accepted.



Here's what I think. I have always told my girls that "Actions speak louder than words."  Words and actions should be consistent. This particular axiom is found in many languages, going as far back as ancient Greek and worded in different ways right up to "Don't just talk the talk, walk the walk." But sadly I think Mark Twain got it right when he commented ironically, "Actions speak louder than words but not nearly as often"

eHarmony and me... Part 3

5/13/10

I am finding the eHarmony pace a bit too slow for me. I shattered my resolve to remain passive and sent about 14 of my matches a 5 question opening communication letter. I just wanted to get things moving and hoped it would help clear my slate a bit since I assumed some of these guys would "ding" me and some would get in touch...whatever. Well, that was 2 days ago and only four dinged me while the rest have yet to take action one way or another.

As of this moment I have "closed" 47 matches. In eHarmony-speak this means they can not communicate with me. I would delete them altogether but eHarmony must feel that is too harsh because there is no way for me to do it. I have "archived" 5 matches. This means I am being passive, not communicating with them but open to them getting in touch with me. I am "communicating" with the 13 dudes who have yet to respond to me. In eHarmony land I have to wait for 7 days before I can send them  another " nudge".I have already decided to give them 10 days to respond which I feel is more than generous. After the 10 days are up I'm closing those suckers!

I have suffered only one eHarmony heartbreak so far. I was sent a match who really did seem like a winning prospect. The guy was completely gonzo about fishing as am I! So I fired off the introductory communique with high hopes and the guy "closed" me!! Guess he wasn't really looking for a fishing buddy.

Sooooooooo... I find myself slipping into an eHarmony coma and can only imagine how boring this all has become for you my dear readers. Therefore this will be my last blog about eHarmony until, if and when something happens of interest.

Here is what I think. eHarmony is for primarily the very young and most certainly those who possess patience to at least the hundreth power. I fit neither category.

eHarmony and me... Part 2

5/12/10

OK...we all knew this was inevitable given my curiosity issues. I googled eHarmony promo codes, found a sweet deal for a 3 month membership and gave myself a Mother's Day present.

One of the benefits of being a paying member... I can see pictures of the guys if they have posted any. This is not of major importance to me as I have always believed it's what's inside that counts. But seeing these guys has been interesting.

One of them looks so much like a friend I have known and loved forever that it took my breath away. I don't think this guy and I are a match, but part of me just wants to write him about the odd coincidence of his looks and wish him good luck in his search.

As I read their "profiles" I feel daunted by what I perceive to be their expectations. An air of seriousness hangs over their words, even their joking. I get the feeling that many of them are hoping for a lot more than I am. For instance, given the age range I chose to fish in ( 58-65 ), a lot of these guys have grandkids they profess to love and adore. That's as it should be, don't get me wrong, but would I have to love and adore his grandkids too?? I'm just getting the feeling that they want their match to be on board for all their interests and that isn't gonna be me. Another example... a lot of them like to bicycle or ski or climb ( as opposed to easy hiking, something I would be up for), and , again, I think that's great...for them. Now if they want to do all that on their own or with other friends and then come see me that would be cool, but I feel they are looking for an all purpose companion.

I've been "archiving" a lot of great sounding guys ( I have been sent over 40 matches already! ) for reasons like those stated above, but I could be overreacting. At some point I'll have to communicate with a couple of them. At the moment I have adopted a passive stance to see if any of them will make a first move, but my patience probably won't last a week.

What I want is a man who will become a deep meaningful friend. I want companionship but not 24/7. I want it to be about  "US" not about me fitting into his world ( meeting his family and friends, etc.) or he into mine. If things eventually led to our worlds merging then so be it, but that is not even a goal for me. I have always been more of a one on  one person. I have more than enough wonderful friends ( just no male ones close by as mentioned in a previous post), and I rarely choose to experience more than two of them together at a time. I like to focus on who I am with and want them to focus on me as well.

I am not looking to remarry, nor is the physical aspect of a relationship a priority for me at this moment.This being said, I rule nothing out and am open to whatever may develop over time . At this point I just want to have fun! It remains to be seen if it can be found on eHarmony.

To Be Continued...

eHarmony and me... Part 1

 5/7/10

 So a few days ago I'm just sitting around with not much on my plate. It was the 9th anniversary of my husband's death and felt like as good a time as any to take stock of my current state of being.

All in all the assessment went pretty well. I am blessed with my two daughters and some really stellar friends, male and female, near and far. On the downside, all my great male friends fall into the "far" category (thank God I have wonderful girlfriends nearby or I would be totally nutso). I realized how much I miss just having a guy around to hang out with on occasion. I confess there is something about the menfolk I just love.

Sooooooooooo... I fired up my trusty computer and for the heck of it googled online dating. eHarmony seemed by far the safest site so I checked it out. You can do a fair amount there for free so I proceeded. Step one is filling out a rather lengthy, and somewhat silly at times, questionnaire.

 It was a fun exercise since I had nothing else pressing to do. Once the survey is completed eHarmony will start sending you matches.This is where it starts to get interesting. You get the guy's name, city and state and a bunch of his questionnaire answers.I got 5 matches right off the bat. I pondered each one and thought, "Are these really the kind of guys who are perfect for me? And if so, what does that say about me?" It's thought provoking for sure.

If you don't join eHarmony (meaning cough up some cash) you do not get pics of your matches, and you can only contact them once using an eHarmony survey form where you pick a few questions you want them to answer.I have chosen not to communicate with anyone using this method, nor has anyone exercised that option with me. I do think eHarmony is designed more for the younger set which makes sense, but enough oldies are participating to supply me a few new matches each day.

eHarmony is a very PC site, so you don't delete dubious matches, you "archive" them. I have been sent about 20 matches in the last couple of days. Many of these matches make me wonder what mistakes I made on my survey answers ( I have rechecked and can find no big errors). For instance, I was very honest about my weight yet they send me guys who put physical fitness in their top 3 things they think are personally important. I "archive" those guys at once.

I could go on and on, but for brevity's sake I think this is enough for now. What it has done for me so far is really help me clarify what I do want in a man at the moment. Interested...??

To Be Continued...

Do you believe...?

 5/2/10

I have had many experiences that would belong in the realm of what is called the paranormal today. I definitely believe. Here is just one example.

I was visiting a friend in NYC (Doc's owner in fact which makes this even more interesting if you have been following my blog) and we were out just walking around soaking up the city. It must have been Spring to Fall because I don't remember any discomfort or sensation of rushing and I for one do not stroll the streets of NYC in the Winter.

We passed by one of those Fortune Teller signs. You've seen them before, walk-ins welcome. We were just larking around with a little money to burn, both of us single and unattached, so we decided to check it out and see what our futures held.

Here is what the lady inside told me:

1. You have already met the man you will marry and he is already in love with you. (I found this intriguing, but unlikely. Interesting idea but still pretty generic prediction-wise.)

2. He is tall and dark, and yes, handsome. (Well, you can imagine the inner smirk I was having as she said that.)

3. He is considerably older than you. (Interesting thing to say.)


4. You will be married within a year.(At least a hard and fast prediction, one that I found hard to believe though given my circumstances at the time.)


Everything she said to me was true, every bit of it.

I had "met" my future husband a year before our "love bird" meeting. A friend was visiting and her boyfriend was looking for a certain kind of antique lamp. My current boyfriend and I took them to the most well known antique store in the area. A huge sprawling place called "The Famous Daniel Store" which had been around for over 100 years. All I remember about that meeting was how the owner kept hovering around my friend and I instead of helping the guys out on their lamp search. I assumed at the time he was interested in my friend because she was a hotty by anyone's definition and I have always been a BBW. To us he was a nuisance (we were both in happy relationships so he might as well have been invisible) and we repeatedly sent him away to deal with the guys, assuring him we were just browsing and his only hope of a real sale was with the lamp guy. My friend's guy found the lamp of his dreams and we left. End of story from my point of view. I never thought of the place again until over a year later when I was looking for that love bird cage. I hadn't thought of the owner at all.


The visit to the NYC psychic took place after the lamp looking incident, but before the cage incident. When I did go in search of the bird cage ( at least a year after the lamp visit), the owner greeted me with a loud and ecstatic, "Oh, it's you!!" This was so odd I looked behind me, certain he was talking to someone else. Seeing no one, I assumed he had mistaken me for someone else instead. My confusion gave him time to gather his wits and he behaved more normally for the rest of that visit. But much later my husband revealed to me that for him it was "love at first sight" (and why he had made such a nuisance of himself on the occasion of the "lamp" visit) and he had desperately hoped and prayed I would come back to his store one day, thus his outburst upon seeing me... so part 1 of her prediction was 100% correct.


As for part 2, he was tall, dark, and handsome by anyone's standards, check out the picture. As for part 3, he turned out to be 18 years my senior. The story of us discovering each other's ages is a pretty funny one and I will probably share it here someday. And as for part 4, we did marry within the predicted time frame.


So, yes...I do believe. My husband passed away 9 years ago today. Sharing this particular part of "our" story feels good. Our marriage had its proverbial ups and downs, but it was surely meant to be!


So here is what I think. Go get your fortune told with a crystal ball, or your astrological chart done. Have your tea leaves read, or a Tarot card reading. Go to a seance if you are invited to one. The so called paranormal is not so way out there. It is just a different layer in our many-layered world.